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“Fat shaming others is cruel. And fat shaming yourself is brutal. Even a big number of celebrities who have had bodies to die for in the past, have taken a break from “THE PERFECT” and are just trying to become normal human beings. So why care? Today is the first day of the rest of my life. EAT THAT CAKE SWEETHEART.”

You see what I did there? I always do this. I think of the most lame excuse to run away from reality when I’m feeling weak, or simply, I admit, lazy.

I am a foodie and a chocaholic and I feel very strongly about it. So going on a diet is the toughest battle to fight for me.

I’ve tried my luck with some really bad ideas. But unfortunately, unlike Ben Affleck in ARGO, I couldn’t find the best bad idea.

1. I tried to stay away from oil and sugar but who can survive without them? Right?

2. I tried to join a gym and that too an expensive one to make it sort of an obligation. But I discovered that it got really boring.

3. I bought an expensive dress, which was one size down for an important futuristic event and aimed to fit into that till then. But I had to just wear an oldie from my wardrobe that was actually my size.

4. I tried to stay hungry for days and follow ridiculous diets like soup diet, juice diet, lemon diet, protein diet etc. But it was dullsville.

And just FYI, all these tricks worked for me in the past, until 5 years ago. But having kids can change a hell lot of things about you.

But I can’t keep cutting myself slack forever. It is after all about my health. You know, George Clooney said “Having ‘Oscar winner’ on your tombstone is a great thing”. And just because he’s been my all time crush, I will say “Having ‘overweight’ on your tombstone is not a great thing”.

Tongue in cheek! What to do? But it is what it is. I’m absolutely convinced that I need to lose weight but I’m absolutely not ready to do what it takes. But I love cribbing about it.

“Does this mean that I’m never ever going to be able to shed those extra kilos?” I said to myself a few days ago. Maybe. But will I still love myself? Maybe not. I might spend the rest of my life in this dilemma.

So, it’s time to bring some positivity in my life. And do it in a way to which I can really commit. The key really is to find a realistic destination with a realistic journey. You know, find a balance.

1. Don’t stay hungry the entire day, just don’t eat anything until 4 hours before sleep.

2. Eat a filling breakfast, a medium sized lunch and a very light saladish or quinoaish kind of dinner.

3. Alternate no carb days and healthy carbs days. Because no carbs forever is only for “Victoria’s secret” models.

4. A junk meal every 3 days because you need something to look forward to.

5. Cut down one unhealthy delicious monster every 2 weeks. For example, start with chocolate. Then next fortnight, give up cheese. The next one, ice-cream and so on.

6. You have got to do some kind of exercise. It could be a daily compulsory walk or Yoga or Zumba or Bollywood dancing if you’re up for it. Squats and lunges are the best to do - 3 sets of 10s everyday. You know that I had to say that to make or ethical. Right?

7. A small step can go a long way. I think following attractive food recipes and food pictures is what gets me the most at the most inappropriate times. It includes late nights too. So, that needs to stop too.

All said and done, balance it out. Be aware and be healthy. Weight loss is not just about looks, it’s about your heart, brain, hormones, blood, bones; basically your entire body’s health.

That roti or bread or rice or pasta is not just fatty food but it’s brain food too. That ice-cream or brownie or chocolate is not just calories but it’s emotional comfort too. And that lettuce, my friends, is……..

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